This post belongs to a true colleague in Personal Development and a great friend, too, Panos Bouzidis. Panos is the exact representation of a well read man having read approximately 600 books apart from many other activities he is engaged. For example he blogs (in Greek language) about Personal Finance in AthensPersonalFinance.blogspot.co.uk .When I first read this article (not in the aforementioned blog of course :)), I decided that I had to ask him the permission to translate it and post it here. So let’s go.
This post is dedicated to the same titled book of David Buss and Cindy Meston… It was published on 2010 and is based on a combination of, on the one hand more than a thousand interviews, on the other hand of many experiments on female sexuality.
David Buss is an evolutionary Psychologist and, among others, has written the colossal book, the “Evolution of Desire“. Cindy Meston is a clinical Psychologist and apart from the female point of view she offered much in the level of practical research.
After the research conducted, the two psychologists concluded in 237 reasons that women have sex… In this article we are going to see them through general categories but we’ll also learn other important things such as
What turns women on
- Proximity: Well, the first step is… to meet her. Being close increases the possibilities she’ll find you attractive. When you are near (even if you don’t speak), the fight or flight response we have when a stranger comes close to us is decreased.But up to a point… Your goal is she to find you mysterious, not boring.
- Smell: The smell plays a significant role, mostly because it shows our health levels and our genetic compatibility.
- Height: Many psychologists now suggest to mothers :”Don’t make your boys handsome, make them tall”
- Body Type: In many experiments it is proven that the φ ratio=1,618 is the optimal ratio between the shoulders and the waist of a man. It is important to be stated that women find more attractive the male body types that appear in Cosmopolitan than in Men’s Health…
- Handsome masculine face: It advertises good health and genes
- Deep Voice: Same as the above
- The way he moves: The way a man dances and generally moves makes him more attractive in the eyes of a woman. Significant role play both the open moves in a space (they show dominance and comfort), the greater agility on the upper part of the body (while women have better agility in the lower part) and how much he touches his male friends or the women (as well, it shows dominance and comfort)
- Personality: Two of the most important elements of personality that women find attractive are humor and confidence. Confidence is obvious. Humor puts people in positive mood and by taking into account that is very important how the other person feels when he/she meets you, it’s easier to associate you with good emotions.
- Power: It is very well-known that Dominance and mostly financial Dominance are powerful aphrodisiacs…
- His connection with women: In a study it was shown that women find more attractive a man who is surrounded by women.
- “My type”: Here are all the above combined with the previous life of the woman and with what she has created in her mind as attractive (through personal experiences, relatives etc)
Let’s go now to the reasons women have sex
Most women will say that they have sex because they are in love with someone… Even if this statement is true in many occasions, the first 3 reasons are different.
The above reasons are also the 2 of the 3 most significant reasons that women decide to have sex when men make the first move…
But what can we use? Maybe the most important advise is to ask them!
There exists several ways to become better at sex but she knows better her body and what really works.. So you can spend a night of exploration and she with tender moves of her hand to show you if she likes it or not…
Analysis of the reasons that women are having sex.
First of all the book talks about the female competition. An interesting series is this one “The Bachelorette“, where 25 women are competing for a millionaire. You can’t imagine what happens!
A very good quote from the series is this one : “As time was passing and the stakes where higher, women tend to look more like Low Class High School Girls..” and no more needs to be said.
Let’s go now to the reasons.
-In order to validate the relationship: Many women, when they want a relationship, they use it as a weapon to “close the deal”.. At least this is what happens inside their minds…
-They enjoy the anxiety of the conquest: Not from men.. Their own conquest! They like to conquer men, especially when they take them from the hands of other women. This increases their desire to win the mate and their pleasure when they achieve it.
-Revenge: Another significant reason that they have sex. According to the book, they get excited to take revenge from their ex or from another woman. As many women had admitted, they felt real pleasure when they took them from the hands of another and they knew that she would learn it.
As well, they will use it to make the man feel jealous. But if a man shows from the beginning of the relationship that is not jealous, this way he deactivates that motivation in her to cheat.
-Boredom: Yeah, this exists, too. Many women have sex because they felt boredom. gosh!
-For the experience: Here is interesting! Many said that they wanted to try something different, like a threesome or how is sex with someone of another nationality.
Reasons they don’t say publicly
Of course there are reasons that are not publicly admitted..
Women have sex to:
- Increase their wages
- Find a job
- Take money
- In the end, in order to take what they want.
Also, they have sex to increase their confidence.
Yeah, these exist, too. You may laugh but women, also, have sex because:
-They want to sleep better
-To release the tension after a fight
Closing, I would like to mention a phrase from an interview that reveals many of the reasons that women have sex…
“The 4 of the 5 men I went in my life with, I did it because they were Out of my League”